Every girl wants a fairy tale wedding, says wedding planner Ashleigh Jordan, but many of them discover, thousands of pounds later, that fairy tale weddings are not very much fun. In fact, many girls discover, to their everlasting disappointment, the more elaborate the wedding and reception, the more awkward everybody feels. Brides often grow weary of fighting with their elaborate dresses, trains, and veils. Men often feel foolish in tuxedoes, bridesmaids traditionally detest their exotically pastelled little dresses, and the guests get lost in the maze of forks and spoons that accompany formal dinners. Similarly making strategic mistakes, brides frequently invite too many guests, boosting the haul of presents but making it very difficult to have fun at the reception, because diplomacy gets in the way of dancing.

Think about why you look forward to attending weddings: You love the romance in the ceremony, and then you want to enjoy good food, close friends and family, and a few sparkling beverages. At the very best, most memorable weddings, the fun factor prevails, and the whole event does become a celebration of the newlywed couple s love for each other and all their intimates.

Jordan very strongly recommends:

Keep it simple and down-to-earth, and you and your new husband can enjoy the day with your best friends and family. Instead of planning to make your wedding your big show, plan to make it genuinely fun for the guests. The more it becomes a big production, the more you kill the joy.

Control the liquor to control the fun. Although your wedding guests appreciate a hosted bar, they also tend to abuse it. Wise brides and their daddies typically control both the expense and the crowd by paying for beer, wine, and champagne, leaving mixed drinks to the guests discretion and wallets. For the sake of convenience, you probably want a couple of beverage stations, but you need a bartender at only one. The servers can fill wine and champagne glasses at the others.

Lots of simple,delicious food. Naturally, your guests expect a good meal; subconsciously, they expect this first party will set the standard for all your hospitality as wife and mother.

You do not want to be 'the rubber chicken' bride. A menu of simple, hearty favorites teaches your guests to expect flavor and taste at your house. Make it really simple and wonderfully delicious by making it a pot luck, a community feast. Ask for a favorite recipe in lieu of a gift.

All kinds of music and lots of dancing. The grannies want Glenn Miller, the parents want The Doors, and your friends want today s greatest hip-hop hits mixed with retro music from the eighties. You cannot find a live band to play everyone's requests, so scour your greater tri-state area for the very best DJ, who may double as reception emcee to keep things lively and entertaining for fun-hungry guests.

Make it easy to mingle. Ashleigh Jordan compassionates brides who look at the wedding pictures lamenting, OMG, there s Aunt Sophie! And I didn t even get to say hello to her.”

Save yourself a lot of post-wedding remorse by requesting a reception arrangement that makes it easy for you to move around and actually talk to people. Especially avoiding mixing music and conversation, allowing some quiet places where people can take time out from the merriment just to talk.

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