Let me be clear about one thing: I don't hate men. Au contraire! Men are rather exquisite works of art and I've certainly been known to have hours and hours of fun with them. But I've noticed that when I'm on my own, I'm just much happier and content. My own identity gets lost when I'm in a relationship. Something goes awry; I'm just not sure if that's down to me or the guy. When I turned 34, I seemed to hit the questioning point in my life. All kinds of questions like do I want to start dating again, do I even want to get married? Do I want to have a baby, and what about my career? As I analyzed the answers it became clear that I needed to make some changes in my life.

I haven't always felt like this. I started dating when I was 17 and had my first real boyfriend when I was 20. I've always wanted a career and I wanted to get married. Like many women, the plan was college, career, marriage and then two kids. At least the career part of the plan worked out!

Suffice it to say that my dating life has been one Mr. Wrong after another. Wrong for me, not wrong in general. I've tried internet dating, blind dates, the club and bar scene, networking events. Heck, there isn't an avenue that I've left unexplored in my quest to meet a guy.

And even though I had a lot of fun along the way and met some really terrific people, the roller coaster ride of highs and lows was beginning to wear. Yes, youth is about having fun, but as I began to mature, that fun wasn't so much fun anymore; it was more like a noose around my neck.

I had no idea that adult life would sneak up on me, but it did. I guess paying rent and other bills may have contributed to this change in attitude. I no longer found it cute when my boyfriend came home wasted or when he flirted with other women while sitting across the table with me.

Reluctantly, I have decided to "throw in the towel", hang up my shoestrings", "retire my jersey", and so on and so on. I have decided to grow old gracefully and single. The good part is that I look forward to not having to share my bed, or possibly deal with someone else's problems. The sad part is that there will be very little or even no more being awakened at 2:00 in the morning for lovemaking. Oh well, thank goodness for the specialty catalogues and AA batteries! I feel pretty good about myself. I no longer have to worry about my guy being unfaithful or being reminded of how pretty I was when we first met. I have a full live, with a great career and wonderful friends.

Besides, being single doesn't rule out an occasional steamy love affair. With that in mind, my solo days are off to a flying start, at least for now.

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Article Submitted By: Cathy Svedka
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