Turning The Lows Of A Marriage Into The Highs
You are well aware that nobody is perfect. Then why do you expect your spouse to be? Instead of focuses on the little things, put your focus on all the ways that your spouse makes your life better.
Sometimes it is difficult to think positively while you are heated mad. Instead of speaking right away, which will only come out as a nagging yell, take a breath. Remove yourself for the situation if you have to and take a few deep breaths. You will be surprised at how this will help you bring things into perspective.
If you find that you can not overlook something then you should sit and talk with your spouse. Do not talk of all the little petty issues just talk about what is causing you stress. Talking does not by any means refer screaming and yelling. You need to calmly state what the annoyance is and try to come up with a solution to the problem that both of you can live with.
Take some time in the day, or at least once a week, to spend solely with your spouse. You can leave the kids with a sitter and go out to dinner, plan a romantic getaway together and spend time looking at all the places you can visit and what you will do. Don't just plan the getaway make sure that you actually go on the getaway. Time for the two of you does not always have to cost money though. It can be staying at home and watching a movie while you snuggle (instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch), play a board game, or whatever activity that you both enjoy to do. Many couples even choose a show that they both like and once a week sit down to watch it together. This is a great way to schedule partner time for you and your spouse.
Sometimes it is better to laugh then get mad. If you can find a way to make the annoyance humorous, without making fun of your spouse, you will find the annoyance will go away and turn into a joke. Play a game of hide and seek with shoes that are always being left around the house, or freeze their dirty clothes if they always leave them on the floor. Nothing should be done with anger, instead it should be completed with a loving heart. Be careful not to cross a line and do something that will anger or hurt your spouse. My husband has a bad habit of leaving his sleep machine tube out and it brakes all the time because the kids like to play with it. When I make the beds in the morning and notice that he forgot to put it away I will then hide it on him. Each night before bed we would get a good laugh at the different places that I found to hide is tube. It has now gotten to the point that I am saddened when I don't see it because I know that we will not be playing our game of hide and seek that night. It was the perfect way to turn an annoying (and costly) situation into something fun and bonding.
We tend to get stressed at our spouse to quickly, and it is something that we all need to work on in our life. Remember, you spouse is only human, same as you, and sometimes annoyance will occur. If they are handled properly, you will find that these annoyance are not only small but they will be the thing that creates and even stronger bond between the two of you.
If you are having marriage problems and feel that you will need couples therapy in order to get you on the right track again, there is another method that is just as effective, will cost you less and can be done done in the privacy of your home. To learn about about the program, today, go to www.lightyourfire.com.
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