I Do, Again: Second Wedding Etiquette

Many people today have second weddings and for these times, second wedding etiquette can be observed by the couple. Use your own best judgement, as many couples today find wedding traditions to be archaic and outdated. It entirely depends on whether, and whose experience is complicated by spouses from the former marriage. Sharing the Good News: It's important to consider the feelings of your former spouse when announcing your upcoming wedding. Have the courtesy to tell him or her in person, rather than risk the chance of your former spouse hearing the news as gossip. If you have a cordial relationship, tell your ex-spouse over coffee or dinner. If the relationship is less friendly, a formal phone call will suffice. You may have a friendly relationship with your former in-laws, and they should be offered the same sort of courtesy. If the couple has children to consider, it is polite to inform them of their decision. Regardless of their children's protests, this should not be omitted or done at the last minute. Children have a longer time to adjust and accept certain truths. One of them is the idea of having a new mom or dad. Therefore, second wedding etiquette stipulates that parents must announce the engagement to their children first. If everyone enjoys a healthy relationship, the children will respect their parent's wishes and support the union. Second Wedding Details: Having experienced the entire wedding process before, this will be easier to handle the second time around. The couple should bear in mind the second wedding etiquette of holding a smaller event and inviting only their close friends and family. It is impolite to ask for the former partner to attend but if there is no problem, they may do so. It's important to have an open discussion regarding the budget for your wedding. Expenses are usually shared, and questions about who will pay for what should be settled privately between you and your future spouse. Many second weddings are celebrated out of town. This may be due to a higher disposable income allowing the couple the luxury of holding the wedding in an exotic location. As in a first marriage, consider the expenses of guests that will be asked to attend your wedding. Not everyone has the means to pay for travel, hotel, and other expenses. Second Wedding Locations: As a rule, second wedding etiquette requires that the bride and groom not celebrate their marriage in a place suggestive of the past relationships. Second weddings are sensitive occasions for both parties because there is an unspoken expectation from the partner regarding the first marriage. In selecting the theme, the wedding location and where the reception would be held is a matter for both parties to discuss. The locations should be available to the family and guests. It is courteous for the couple to provide transportation for members of their wedding party. Make sure that everyone has a ride, and determine how many cars must be rented. Taking care of these arrangements well before the wedding date can save stress and money. Should the Bride Wear White? It is entirely acceptable for the bride to wear a white wedding dress. The groom and groomsmen may wear traditional tuxedos. Second wedding etiquette dictates that the wedding fashion and color palettes can mirror those of first weddings. Reaffirming Your Vows: Not all second weddings are about creating new families. The second wedding etiquette can be employed to celebrate a renewal of vows to each other. This is usually done to mark a marriage's milestone like the 25th year or the 50th year anniversary. This type of wedding is usually more intimate and private than the first union. It is also more joyous. The reaffirmation of love and dedication to a husband or wife, after years of marriage, is a rare and beautiful thing. If you are holding a second wedding to celebrate the renewal of your vows, limit the guest list to your closest friends and family. Plan an easy, carefree event that will be enjoyed by everyone in attendance. Etiquette for Second Wedding Guests: It is proper second wedding etiquette to bring a present for the couple. Though using a bridal registry is optional, second wedding gifts are usually those that the couple can appreciate and use. Money is always accepted and the second wedding etiquette of handing the envelopes to the family members is still practiced. It's not at all difficult to follow the rules of etiquette for a second wedding. As in a first marriage, the most important point is to be considerate of your partner's feelings and wishes. As for the honeymoon, it should be sweeter than your first. The lessons that you learned in your first marriage should have made you stronger and wiser, so that you may enjoy a happy and successful second union.