Woody Allen's Top 10 Funny Quotes

If there's one comedian I'd turn to for a sure fire dose of laughter, it would be Woody Allen. It seems like everybody knows who Woody Allen is. He is the man behind Annie Hall, Manhattan, Hannah and her Sisters, and a lot more movies which subscribe to the same film genre. Most of his films deal with recurring themes on sexuality, philosophy, literature, psychoanalysis, New York City, etc. Aside from that, his films often portray a self-reflexive Woody Allen persona: the neurotic writer in New York City.

Why do I find him funny? My answer lies in the characteristics of Allen's humor. His humor can be best described as wry, sarcastic, intellectual, neurotic, and self-deprecating all at the same time. As an audience, I am a fan of all these qualities. Either spoken by him or his characters, Woody Allen's witty quotations reflects an observant manner of criticizing society. These funny quotes unmistakably echo an undeniable truth. He has long championed the brand of humor that doesn't undermine the audiences intellect.

Here, I have compiled ten funniest quotations by Woody Allen. These funny quotes were taken either from his interviews or from the characters of his movies. Most of these quotes deal with issues on sex, marriage, literature, death, relationships, and pop culture. These compilation of Woody Allen funny quotes will not only make you burst into laughter but will also encourage you to think about the themes involved.

Top 10 Funny Quotes from Woody Allen:

1. I took the speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. Its about Russia.

2. If my films dont show a profit, I know Im doing something right.

3. I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher. They are going to make a board game out of it.

4. In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

5. Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

6. A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.

7. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

8. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got a 100.

9. The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

10. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

For me, the funniest quotes are the top three on the list. All three quotes on literature, film, and sex exhibit that wry, ironic, and sarcastic sense of humor which defines Woody Allen. I find the speed reading quote funny because of the sheer mockery of pretentious reading. The second funny quote echoes the hilarious intellectual pride that great films don't appeal to the masses. Finally, the third funny quote is a classic self-deprecating joke which Woody often associates with himself, that of an unattractive, nerdy, Jewish New Yorker. Ultimately, it just shows that Woody Allen's funny quotes affirm how humor is indeed a universal language.

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