Ive never had cancer. But I can't tell you how many times I begged God to let me bear that burden. My son, a strapping 22-year-old junior at the University of Missouri, woke up with an aching chest that turned out to be a malignant tumor. Hes only a boy, I pleaded. Ive had a great life. Let it be meandquot;not him.

I can't even describe that time in our lives accurately. It went by in a blur -- and not the fast paced blur you enjoy while you rocket along the roller coaster's tracks, but a confusing, often terrifying inability to really understand and deal with what was going on. There were months of chemo. He had surgery. His hair fell out. The boy who could empty a refrigerator in the blink of an eye now wouldn't eat -- everything tasted metallic, and he had no appetite. And through it all, we wondered: would he ever have a girlfriend, a family, a life...

I'd spent twenty years studying therapeutic humor. Iandquot;d written about it, spoken on it, spent years of my life convincing colleagues, peers, and audience members that laughter plays an important role in our lives. Now, it was time to walk the walk. It was hard, I won't kid you about that. Finding something to laugh about during one of the toughest times in our lives sometimes required conscious effort. Yet sometimes, thankfully, if we would just let it, it would just happen. We'd find ourselves laughing at the situations life presented. Humor was a saving grace for all of us.

There was a time for tears, but there was a time for laughter. Many times, actually.

Some of the best laughs came from David's roommates, who dubbed him Captain Cancer. One was a red-headed Italian color-blind art student. She saw Davids newly bald head as a marvelous canvas and begged to decorate it with colorful markers.

He also found support at work. He worked as a bouncer at a local bar. The man he worked the door with was known as Tonto, and my son was The Lone Ranger. Following one of his treatments, a bunch of his buddies visited the bar. Afterward, David announced his new nickname, bestowed by his friends: Chemo-sabi!

Allen Klein, author of The Healing Power of Humor, surveyed patients who were terminally ill, about the use of humor. About 80% of them wished for more humorandquot;from their caregivers, and the freedom to use humor themselves.

What is the best way to use humor? Ideally, humor is used proactively, to help heal the body and the spirit. Here are three ways to do this:

PLAY: Create your own personal play list. A personal play list consists of ten low or no-cost items that are fun for you. When you're not feeling well, do something from the list. Don't wait until you feel better to play -- playing makes you feel better.

Make sure you have a stock of toysandquot;Magic 8 balls, Koosh toys, whatever makes you smileandquot;available.

Collect: Collect funny books, magazines, movies and cartoons. Write down funny or embarrassing stories people tell you. Seek out jokes and funny stories. Take at least 15 minutes a day enjoying your collection.

Connect: Spend time with people who make you laugh. Skip the Negative Nellies who bring you down. Ask people to make you laughandquot;and do your best to make them laugh. All it takes is one joke.

To live well, you must laugh. That's one of the pivotal lessons I learned from my son. He's cancer free now, for four years. And he's also my inspiration: for his courage, his gentle spirit, and of course, his sense of humor. It's my honor to say that he's my hero.

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